AS my eyes leisurely opened and set on the vast blue sea and sky that lay in front of me and the warmth of the opal tiled hot-rock beds seeped in, I had to wonder – was this the epitome of infinite luxury?
Just three days into cruising on P & O’s 2005-built childfree Arcadia – at that time the largest ocean liner to enter the port of Fremantle – and I started to think why I had let misconceptions stop me from jumping aboard one of these floating resorts years ago.
As I lay on the massaging bed – refreshed also from 30 minutes spent lying on a submersed bed in The Oasis Spa’s Hydro Pool – my friend and I looked at each other and laughed. It was as if we had died and gone to pampered paradise.
Just the previous evening and we both weren’t so sure that cruising was the travel option for us.
Not only were we well below the ship’s median age of 65, but we had both suffered at the hands of the sea, and not even the anti-seasickness tablets had been able to save us from buoyant hell.
But, just a mere 12 hours later, and here we were, completely switched off from reality.
Thoughts of deadlines, peak hour traffic and alarm clocks a strangely distant and easily forgotten memory.
After slowly wandering back to our room – which, although quite standard for the ship, was spacious enough and had a sofa, balcony and decent sized bathroom – we contemplated our next move.
Now that we were in “international waters” and away from WA’s antiquated gambling laws, did we feel like hitting the casino for some 1p (the boat is British) pokey machine fun; or how about visiting the multi-tiered ostentatious theatre to listen to a talk from former English TV star Esther Ranson?
Instead, we took the more subdued option and decided to head to the ship’s boutique cinema, The Screening Room.
Even though the next screening was an hour away, we had been warned that one of the cinema’s red leather recliners was a hot commodity.
We quickly shuffled in and grabbed our seats, luckily, as the 30-seat cinema filled up within minutes. A plethora of faces stuck their heads in, only to be disappointed that they would miss two hours of drifting off in absolute comfort while enjoying the tacky rom-com What Happens in Vegas.
Following the film, we decided to wake ourselves from our state of relaxation and take advantage of the extensive evening entertainment on offer.
Four restaurants, 14 bars, a nightclub and the chance to do karaoke at sea in a British themed pub – where to begin?
After dressing in semi-formal attire – the evening’s dress code as prescribed by that day’s newsletter – we decided to meet the group we were with for a pre-dinner drink in The Crow’s Nest.
This 80s-style cocktail bar had the most spectacular view of all, situated on the second highest deck at the front of the ship.
After a glass of Moet (the house champagne is only 60p a glass cheaper, so why wouldn’t you?) we all decided to take dinner at our regular table in the “free” restaurant, the Meridian.
This two-level restaurant is where you have a reserved table each evening at either the first (6.30pm) or second (8.30pm) sitting, whether you choose to eat there or at the Belvedere – the other “free” buffet restaurant – or at one of the two fine-dining restaurants that require an extra charge.
It was going to be hard to top the extravagant meal we had enjoyed the night before at celebrity chef Gary Rhodes’ silver service restaurant, Arcadian Rhodes, but the Meridian’s offerings were still quite decent by British standards – if you relish chicken livers as a main course.
After taking up the offer of a one-pound after-dinner cognac, we decided to head to the nightclub, Electra, something we had had to miss the previous evening due to the collective seasickness of heading into the Great Australian Bight.
As our group was relatively young in comparison to the other 2000-odd passengers on the 83,000 tonne ship’s maiden round-the-world voyage, the overly excited DJ announced that this was the largest crowd he had ever seen dancing up a storm.
Electra also featured a CCTV-style camera that captured all the dance floor action and projected it on a big screen for all to laugh or gasp at.
After leaving the sounds of Beyonce and Britney – yes, the Electra DJ is surprisingly quite up to date – we headed to The Rising Sun for some late-night karaoke, something none of us would dream of doing on land.
We received cheers for our trio rendition of Tina Turner’s The Best and Mark, one of the ship’s entertainment officers, told the crowd we would be perfect for “weddings, parties and… funerals.”
While we received obligatory cheers, there were actual deserved cheers when one of the ship’s guest singers, Clem Curtis, made a surprise appearance.
Curtis, a founding member of The Foundations, serenaded the eager crowd with his 60s hits Baby Now That I’ve Found You and Build Me Up Buttercup, proving anything can happen onboard, at any time.
After all this late night excitement, we finished the night with a visit to the 24-hour Belvedere for some late night snacks.
Ploughing through some nourishing pizza, we looked out and felt the peacefulness of being in the middle of the sea, somewhere and nowhere all at once.
There was something truly serene about travelling in the safety of such insular luxury.
n The writer travelled courtesy of P&O cruises.