An analogy is defined as a comparison between two different things in order to highlight some point of similarity. Or as Sigmund Freud suggested, an analogy won't settle an argument, but a good one may help to clarify the issues.
I like to think of a good analogy as a comparison that conveys the true essence or meaning of something in a way that transcends the words being used. They allow you to 'feel' the meaning instead of simply reading it.
There are many great examples that I could quote such as:
"A baby is like the stars. We love to sit and watch it sparkle."
"Our minds are like a baby bird: when we put our minds to a task, we can fly." or
"A lonely person is like a single shoe. They know if they look hard enough, they will find the match."
But that is not what this post is about. I am more interested in the not so great analogies, the ones that make you cringe in amazement or just nod in disbelief.
Enjoy!
"She grew on him like she was a colony of E. Coli, and he was room-temperature Canadian beef."
"Her vocabulary was as bad as, like, whatever."
"She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up."
"The little boat gently drifted across the pond exactly the way a bowling ball wouldn't."
"He was as tall as a six-foot, three-inch tree."
"Her hair glistened in the rain like a nose hair after a sneeze."
"The hailstones leaped from the pavement, just like maggots when you fry them in hot grease."
"John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met."
"The young fighter had a hungry look, the kind you get from not eating for a while."
"It was an American tradition, like fathers chasing kids around with power tools."
"He was deeply in love. When she spoke, he thought he heard bells, as if she were a garbage truck backing up."
"The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant."
"Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a ThighMaster."
Well I don't know about you gentle reader, but I am speechless. Reading these analogies has been like reading something really funny because it was so bad!